I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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