Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
