so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
