i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
