He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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