I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
