I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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