Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
