his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
