I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
