He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
