So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I've blown a few things in my day
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
