I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
