I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
