I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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