Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
