Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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