I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
