I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
