You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
