And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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