I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
