my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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