I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
