How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
