anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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