girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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