she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
