those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
