I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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