forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
