her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
