Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i will never coherently bang her
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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