You really coming over, don't trick.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
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