you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
