I wannas sexs uuuuu
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
