here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
only you would photoshop your dick
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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