How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
me + whiskey = a bad person
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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