Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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