so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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