I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
