it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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