That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
