It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
