do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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