The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
