if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
