he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
