and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
