you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
