The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
