Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
