She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize