the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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